TomFlanders.com






Features

2009

Howlish (12/15/2009)
I saw the best minds of my generation eating cheeseburgers at the Snow White Drive-In in Santa Cruz. Man, my generation sucks!
Notebook Problem (12/12/2009)
I have seven notebooks. Six of them have purpose; Stories, puzzles, blood sugar, computers, racing and household. The seventh has yet to find its purpose. Suggestions?
Worried about the sunsets (12/11/2009)
They used to seem so real to me, but now, I don’t know. I mean; If professional wrestling is fake, can sunsets be far behind?
What's Up With The Tropics (12/9/2009)
The loneliness of a deal gone south. This tiny little story was written for a workshop site. It got some good reviews so I'm posting it here.
Words as Images (12/9/2009)
The image to the right was created at Wordle. It's the first chapter of my new novel. Click on the thumbnail to see the big picture.
THE CAR SHOW! (11/29/2009)
I just added a detailed report about Tonya's visit to the 2009 SF International Car Show
Visions at the beach (11/27/2009)
I saw a woman in a hoop skirt shooting scenes for a Japanese music video. I saw her skip playfully as the blind director shouted orders in the wrong direction, the echoing surf screwing up his sense of direction. The director's mis-directed direction?
Updated Links (11/27/2009)
The writing links page has been updated.
Weird stairway thoughts (11/25/2009)
Fall goth boy, fall! Fear the stairway. Feel gravity weave about your head. You knew it would come to this. You knew that her love was dark and needful. Spin around to see her descending upon you. Night. Dunkelheit.
Words! (11/22/2009)
Words! Give me more words. As many as you can as fast as you can. I don't care about order or context. Just give me all the words you have, right now!
Car Show (11/21/2009)
The SF car show is this week. Hazaah! New cars, old cars, booth babes and all the brochures your little arms can carry. I'll have a full report posted next weekend.
Eternal Seeker of the Open Mic (11/19/2009)
The audience stares as he stumbles onto the stage. Expectation of disappointment, daring him to make them laugh. He's not young. He's not hip. He has no future in this business, but he is there on that stage and he begins to say the words. The words that no sane man would dare speak. The giggles begin nervously. He caresses their giggles and rips their heads off. They roar with fear and laughter. He has them. He takes them through the window bars and leaves them there gasping. He is cirque du grotesque. Then he steps off the stage before the audience can applaud him their farewell. After the show, no one looks him in the eye.
Log Wranglers (11/11/2009)
I've created a new site of interest to people who love log files. If this describes you take a look.
Now what? (11/11/2009)
Another trip to the crossroads.
Has it been a month? (11/02/2009)
Yes it has. This has been the worse illness of my life. First was the swine flu, then a debilitating cough caused by a chest infection, and finally a reaction to the antibiotic which trippled my blood sugar leaving me with no energy and an addled mind. The blood is still high now but down to an acceptable range. I feel much better. Just in time for my wife's surgery on wednesday.
Unknown Facts (11/02/2009)
In October 1938 Alice B. Toklas was pulled over in Great Island Nebraska for driving a stolen REO Speedwagon full of beer kegs which were not stolen.
Literary treasure(11/02/2009)
Between pages 202 and 203 of my paperback copy of Jerzy Kosinski's BLIND DATE I found the leg of an insect.
Unknown Facts (10/01/2009)
In April of this year, Bucky Zahn, the author of the Pimpie the Whale books, died of freon poisoning while fixing the air conditioning on his 1955 Chevy Cameo pickup truck.
Quote of the Week (10/01/2009)
"Gumercules? I love that guy!" - Dr. Zoidberg
Random Thought (9/26/2009)
San Francisco warm fall weather causing women to wear much less clothing reminding me painfully that sex exists.
Word of the Week (9/25/2009)
Antiforism - A short unwise saying. For example: Don't eat snow unless it's yellow.
Random Thought (9/20/2009)
Tonight is the kind of night that reminds you that fog is made for lurking.
Phrase of the week (9/15/2009)
Retroactive Empowerment - Being given the authority to clean up your boss's mistakes.
Quotes of Note (9/14/2009)
As my friend Myunee Buscheck once said, "If I promise not to eat any more squirrels will you unlock the shed?"
Unknown Facts (9/9/2009)
On February 3, 1924 in Chamonix France, Rene Magritte beat an alpine marmot to death with a hockey stick.
Bad Philosophy Theatre (9/9/2009)
When sitting down to dinner at the truth table, logic is nothing more than an empty gravy boat.
PC Insults (9/8/2009)
Is there anything worse then when someone apologizes for insulting you? Well, actually, if they kicked you in the groin, I guess that would be worse.
Are we sitting comfortabley? (9/7/2009)
Actually, I am not. Apparently it's time for some ergonomic reorganization. Accidently creating a first-word-of-the-sentence illeteration.
The care and understanding of an aspiring writer (9/6/2009)
Mr. Cohen speaks of floods and loneliness. Writing letters to a woman who cares but does not understand.
Mr. Kerouac envied the insane for the purity of their beliefs. The insane cared but did not understand.
I wrote a book about an insane lonely man. Will the readers understand? Will they care?
(Thoughts promted by entering the home stretch of packaging a book submission.)
Would Franz Kafka watch profesional wrestling?
His father probably would have. His grandfather definitely would have. I do not think however that out dear Franz would have enjoyed the spectacle. While wrestling often touches on Kafka's favorite topics of alienation and persecusion I believe that he would have seen the wrestling genre as nothing but a simplistic exploration of the good vs. evil dynamic. Ah well. Yet another reason why I am not like Franz Kafka that must now be added to my permanent literary record.
squirrel at the window
See my brave dogs defend the homestead against the invading horde. Well, one squirrel, but you know what they're capable of.
WWBD [What Would Bukowski Do?] (9/2/2009)
He would wait until he was 49 to quit his hopelessly boring job. I'm only 47.
Stuff I wrote today (9/2/2009)

That's her.
She's the one.
That smile.
Those eyes.
That hair.
The body.
Her image will never fade from my memory.
She's the the one that shot me officer.

Children love scary little lies because they want to believe that any imaginable horror is possible because that means that any imaginable wonder is also possible.

Glory and defeat are the two sides of a twenty dollar bill found in a pile of dog shit.

Word of the Week (9/1/2009)
Errorific - When something has more bugs than functionality
The week of being tired (8/16/2009)
Sleeping OK, but every night after work I was just too tired to get any real work done. I tried sitting down to write a couple time but got nothing babble. This weekend has been good though and I may write when I'm done with this update.
Relaxation = Clarity (8/9/2009)
Just spent a great peacefull weekend at the ocean. Working on the new novel in my head. More progess in the last few weeks than the previous few months. Also, I'm also almost ready to start submitting the first novel to literary agents. Taking a mental crowbar to swith the rails from being a computer geek who writes to being a writer who is a computer geek. Wish me luck.


A tough month (7/26/2009)
Gout, depression, infections, root canal, writer's block, worry and work. Excuses, excuses and more excuses. Or are they reasons? What is the difference? I don't know. I'm going to call them reasons. Whatever they are they add up to no work getting done on the novel.

Then the curtain is slowly drawn to the side. The meds are changed. The depression fades. The tooth is made hole. The infections are finally conqured. The foot swells less. The pain ebbs. The fire begins. Insight returns. The way clears. The structure reveals itself. the words flow once more.


There is something about the night (6/27/2009)
Running from your own ennui. Roaming the streets in search of a perfect moment. Drunken weeping teens. Pit bulls in drag. Middle-aged skate boarders. Cars roaming for an excuse for speed. Couple times around the block with the dogs. Back home to the wife already asleep.
The Harrier Jet is a weird little plane. (6/25/2009)
It can take off and land straight up and down. Then flies like a regular jet.

The interesting part is that the science of flying is well mastered, and the take off and landing parts are actually quite simple. The problem is the transition between the two modes. For several moments between the modes all is chaos and danger.

Life is like that. The scariest parts are the transitions. You're going along in a relatively safe mode, but you yern for another mode. A mode that promises so much. A mode that you know you can thrive in. But how to get there? There is no easy transition. There is no intersection. There is no common ground. At some point you have to flick the switch that will pitch your life in the new direction. No turning back. No room for hesitation. Chuck it all. Risk it all. Win it all or lose it all. The price of ambition.

Word of the Week (6/24/2009)
Mooting - noun: A meeting with no detectable value.
Words to leave by (6/16/2009)
When the voices in your head start humming Nina Hagen tunes it's time to reassess your meds.
Three quotes (6/10/2009)
"Hold me closer Tona Danza!"
"Nolo Episcapari"
"Kids of TV land you're being duped!"
Thought in summary (6/5/2009)
It's been a long week. Days of grubbing through log files. Nights of dreaming of being a writer. Not writing. Watching Harry Potter #5 over and over again. Ah bliss.
GoKartRacer League Prize Day 7 (5/31/2009)
A bumper car race on the Super track
GoKartRacer League Prize Day 6 (5/30/2009)
A pair of races. Won them both.
GoKartRacer League Prize Day 5 (5/29/2009)
Fun on the Monza track
GoKartRacer League Prize Day 4 (5/28/2009)
86 laps in a single race
The Happy Trucker (5/26/2009)
I found out yesterday that former NASCAR truck racer Aaron Fike used to race under the influence of heroin. Either he's some kind of superman or that was some really weak junk.
GoKartRacer League Prize Day 1 (5/25/2009)
For finishing 3rd in the Spring League I won a week of free racing. I started cashing that in today.
The Movie Break (5/24/2009)
Sometimes you need to just drop everything you are doing and watch a movie that you like very mutch. Not necessarily a great movie, but a movie that you like very much. That way it's not an exercise in film, but just watching a movie. It's good for the soul. Cleasnsing. I guess this is my version of stopping and smelling the roses.
Wrong Again (5/24/2009)
I was wrong. I do believe in my day dreams.
Day Dream Believer (5/23/2009)
I may not believe in my day dreams but I believe in day dreaming.
Anti-procrastination declaration (5/20/2009)
I finally got around to rewriting my bio. It wasn't easy to get started. I am not my favorite subject. I finally tricked myself into doing it by performing an experiment. I usually fuss over every word and use only what is absolutely necessary. What I did was to skip the pre-editing and just write down everything that came to mind. Of course the result was much too long for general consumption, but from it I was able to cull a nice representative paragraph.
Writing: (5/19/2009)
As I sit down to write what may be the pivotal piece of my fledgling writing career my mind wanders every way but the way I need. New Harry Potter movie in a couple weeks. The ex-pope just had a stroke in the book I'm reading. The dogs need walking. William Borroughs is talking. Should I shave my beard? Should I have a beer? My desk needs cleaning. The fence needs mending. But no. Now is the time to write what I don't want to write. But I do. Cause and effect. The mouse and cheese, which in my experience does no good. The mouse and the peanutbutter and bacon. That's what I want, a peanutbutter and bacon sandwich. I'll go make one. Then I'll write. It's a plan!
Odd human moment
I was out walking the dogs tonight and passed a homeless woman I've known for a couple years. She always speaks to me in Mandarin and laughs at what she says. Tonight she spoke the first English I've ever heard from her when she said, "Good morning sir and dogs."
Random Thoughts:
The concept of lines seems to be deteriorating. The last several times I've gone into the McDonalds on Haight street there all these people just standing every which where. So I walk up behind someone at an active register they all start grumbling. Most won't say anything out loud to me, but once in a while one of them will point out to the person behind the counter that they were there before me, to which the order taker always replies that they weren't in line. The complainer will huff and puff a little but will then fall in line.
RV Trip
Two weeks on the road and now home again. It's funny, when I was young and we went on family trips my parents would always say, "Oh, it's good to be home again." I don't feel that way. The road is my home. This house is just where I stay till I can put together another trip.
Family Quiz:
The answer is; Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley. Now all we need to know is the question.
Rambling:
The avenues are my San Francisco. Miles of houses, similar but not the same. Long downward slope to the ocean. Sandy dirt, dirty sand, you decide. Pocket neighborhoods forming around the odd convenience store and bus stop. Walking the dogs through foggy night. Talking trivia with smokey drunken Irish soccer screamers. Homeless man that begs to pet the dogs but the dogs won't go near him. Homeless woman telling me jokes in Cantonese. Knowing Cantonese from Mandarin. Feeling like this has been and will always be home. Knowing that it won't.
Writing:
The novel is building up back pressure. It is about to explode.
Cars:
2008 SF Car Show - OK, so I'm a little late. Enjoy. x`