Well it had to happen eventually. Today I wrote my first sex scene. It was very uncomfortable for me. I tried to work around it but the story needed it.
The whole stepping into the story thing is working out well. This story is developing like an expanding puzzle. At first it seems like the story/puzzle has ten pieces, but when you get nine of them in place you realize that there are a hundred pieces. The when you get ninety or so of those pieces together you find that there are a thousand pieces. I love it.
My wife told me about an NPR program she heard. The subject was writer's block and several writers discussed their working process. One of them, she couldn't remember his name, described the very process I'm going through right now. It feels good to know I'm not alone.
Lucy left us today. She ate something bad. She's done this before. She ate all kinds of weird stuff on a regular basis. Snails, racoon shit, whatever. This time though whatever she ate did permanent damage to her liver. We tried for a few days to give her fluids and antibiotics but by today it was obvious that she wasn't going to get and better. We were with her when the vet injected her and she was gone in a minute. She was 15 years old.
Finished reading the First of Carlos Castenada's Don Juan books. I'm not sure if I would call it great literature but I learned a few interesting things. Most importantly the nature of the problems related to gaining power.
So the story I'm working on has become a novel. I had Pat read what I've written so far and she agrees that I have to explore this further. I'm having some stress over this one though. There is something bothering me. Something lurking under the surface of the story.
Well that didn't take long. Alex has been so lonely we started looking for a new little dog for him. We hooked up with the animal rescue people to check out this three year old cocker spaniel with one eye missing, ears sewn shut and housetraining issues. Surprisingly we didn't hit it off. We did however fall in love with Emily. A fourteen year old, overweight, haf-deaf, half-blind cocker with a skin condition. We're pathetic. She's so cute!
I've been having trouble keeping focused at work for the last few days. At first I was worried I was having diabetes problems, but my blood is normal. Then I put it down to Summer fever. There were a couple good days in there, but it didn't feel right. Then I realized that it wasn't the nice weather that was calling me, it was my novel. I've always enjoyed writing but this is the first time that I felt like I was wasting my time working rather than writing.
Now I know what was bothering me about my story. I was going over a scene in my head when I got this feeling of deja vu. I recognized the scene from somewhere. At first I was worried that I had plagarized the scene. Then I recognized it. It was from my real life. It was from 6th grade and I was in great conflict with my teacher. I thought I had put all this behind me. I was wrong. After a day or so wallowing in despair I'm starting to see this as an opportunity to conquer this demon. Perhaps this story's purpose is to strip this man's power over me. Now I'm working up the courage to dive back in. To face him straight on. The battle awaits. Should make for a good story.