BUILDING TO THE PUNCHLINE

Sep 2 - The Phone Call

For the past three months I've going to the Punchline looking to get a spot on showcase night. Other comedians told me that it would take three months and apparently they were right. This time I called and my name was on the list! I go up on September 21. Which, by the way, is just six days past my 4th anniversary of doing comedy. Although for most of that time I wasn't actively doing comedy. I've come further in the last three months than I did in the last three years. So now I have to figure out what I'm going to do.
 

Aside from the three month rule, I may also have gotten help from some contacts that I made recently. It doesn't really matter what happened, as long as I get to perform. I'm not saying you should suck up to people who might be able to help your career. Most people who will be in a position to help you will not appreciate your fawning. The rest will appreciate it very much. But if you are smart enough to be a comedian, hopefully you will smart enough to tell which is which.
 

Playing the Punchline is a big step for me. I've played big clubs before, but never the caliber of the Punchline. I'm not talking about just the career. I'm talking about the way I feel when I can make a big crowd of people laugh. All that energy bouncing back to me. That's the big high for me. The more people the better.
 

Sep 2 - The Luggage Store

Commitment to your material. If you don't think your material is funny, then no one else will. I had been planning all day to do Bif and Mel, but again at the last second, my mind went, "maybe I should do something else." But I decided to go through with it and it was terrible. I got some laughs, but I wasn't commited. I need to work on shutting out everything else and concetrating on the moment.
 

What distracted me most was that I'm already planning what to do at The Punchline. This pulled me away from the Bif and Mel material. From now until the 21st I'm just going to work on perfecting one routine. I'm planning on doing the basketball routine, followed by my virtual pet bit. Both are animated high energy routines that should work well at The Punchline.
 

You know what, I'm going to stop giving people advice unless they ask for it. I hate it when people give me advice I didn't ask for, so I'm not going to do it to other people. I'm not talking about here. If you come here then you asked for it. I mean at shows. When someone has a bad set, if I knew the person I would try to tell him/her what might have helped. Well f$%# me. Who am I to give advice on other people's acts.
 

Andre had a great line; "There is no bombing, there's only time."
 

Sep 4 - The Photo Saga Continues

So after a few weeks of trying, the photographer who took my publicity photo, will not return my phone calls. Therefore I had to cancel my duplication order. Now I have to look for a new photographer. All because I didn't read the fine print. The worst part is I really like the picture I have now, but in little tiny print it says copyright [photographers name], so no one will copy it for me, and I can't get a hold of the photographer. THIS SUCKS!
 

Sep 5 - Rehearsal

Weird stuff. I was rehearsing my basketball bit for tonight in my head. When I do this I visualise the stage that I will be on. Only half way through the routine I realised that I was visualising the stage at the old Funnybone in Davenport Iowa. The only thing I can figure is that is the largest club I've ever played. So it is the closest thing to the Punchline that I have played. No I'm not at the Punchline tonight, but with a show there coming up, it keeps popping into my head. Although open mike night in Davenport never had more than a couple dozen people.
 

Sep 5 - One World Cafe

I've got to learn to not let silly things bother me. One minute of time is not really important in the larger scheme of things. The problem was I was all built up for this show. I actually rehearsed. I timed out my routine so that with a few ad libs I should hit five minutes even. So I'm doing the routine and it's going well. The pedestrians are laughing. (Pedestrians is the word I use to signify non-comedian audience members. I call them this because for these shows they've usually just walked in of the street to get something to eat or drink, and stay for the show. Tonight we had three.) So the pedestrians were laughing, and Andre wasn't reading her newspaper so I figure I'm doing well. A fire truck goes by and no one can hear me so I do some physical ad-libs till it passes. Then I go back into my routine, and the host is giving me the wrap-up signal. So I figure the fire truck took longer than I thought. I wrap up and go sit down. Then I look at my stopwatch and it says 4 minutes. I was pissed! What pissed me off most is the host started the show with seven minutes, and did two or three minutes between every comedian. But hey, he's the host. He can run his show any way he wants. It's not for me to tell him what to do. What really pissed me off most was that I let it piss me off so much. I need to role with the punches better. Another comedian was talking about how his comedy career is like this delicate egg, and he wished it was more like a hackey sack. I like this analogy. Look I would love to do comedy for a living. But the reason that I do it is to have fun. If I'm not having fun I should stop.
 

Sep 6 - Writing Session

I reworked a few lines of the baskeball routine. I noticed that I was stepping on some of my punch lines. Like the STCC joke. The old line was "..pocket protectors on their jerseys." The new line is "..jerseys with pocket protectors." Pocket protectors is the funny part, so if I keep talking after that, I step on the laugh. I think that putting the funny words at the end of the sentence, I can pause and let the laugh happen.
 

Sep 7 - Punchline

Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. OK, so there wasn't all that much rock and roll. I love watching LA comedians come to the Punchline and find themselves completely out of their element. No one is there to kiss their ass, and they don't know who's ass they should be kissing. One guy from LA got up and trashed the star of a sitcom he had a bit part on. The star of the sitcom is well liked around here so the guy's routine fell flat. He reminded me alot of the Boston comedians. Most of his jokes were mean and ugly, and the audience hated him.
 

There were some new-comers up this week. Some bombed and some did well. I still think the basketball routine will go well. One first-timer was bumped so the LA guy could perform. I've got to prepare myself in case that happens to me.
 

Sep 11 - Writing Session

Family situations have taken me out the comedy zone for a few days, but now I'm back. I wrote one of the funniest one-liners I ever heard today. Unfortunately, it's only funny if you know about Shrodingers cat. I think I'm going to tell it at the One World anyway. See how the crowd reacts. Sometimes I use partial sentences to represent partial thoughts. All the voices in my head screaming to be heard. Channeled through this tiny funnel of what I imagine the audience will understand. I'll only be happy singing all the songs that lives in my head. Hey, I may never "make it", but I'll have more fun. I know, you've heard all this before, but I'm excited with what I've written today, and dizzy from eating nothing today but M&M's and ice cream sandwiches.
 

Sep 11 - Trying out material

Well, I tried out the Schrodingers Cat joke on a few people, and got a violently negative reaction. So I can't just do the joke as is, but rather than throwing it out, I'm going to try to make it work. I've added a few more lines, and hopefully that will make the joke more accessible to the audience.
 

Sep 12 - One World Cafe

Had a good set. Started with an ad-lib about the big stuffed parrot and Vietnam flashbacks. The bull's scrotum candy dish bit did well. There were several pedestrians in the audience. It's nice to see a real audience developing here. The Village Voice personal ad did GREAT! This bit always bombed in Iowa. Tonight it killed! The stuff you should never do went well, but needs some work. The Schrodingers Cat line bombed. I was really up for the show tonight, thanks to Pat talking me through a panic attack. I would be lost without her.
 

Several people commented on seeing this web site. Thank you all for the kind words.
 

Sep 14 - The Punchline

One more week! I hope. Several of the newcomers got bumped tonight. The one newcomer I know that did go up bombed. He never connected with the audience. He never even said hello to the audience. He got on stage and just started talking. The audience turned on him. The next comedian had to do a bunch of dick jokes to get the audience moving again. I'm feeling very good about next week. The routine is funny and I'm psyched.
 

Sep 16 - The Luggage Store

The usual people telling the usual jokes. The lack of "audience" is starting to get to me. Part of why I do this is the excitement of telling the audience things they have never heard before. But with all the show I do with all the same audience, I can't keep up with the pace. Maybe for October I'll try to write a new five minutes every week.
 

You know what? Comedians are messed up people. I met a comedian who uses the words "I" or "me" in nearly every sentence. I'm not talking about on stage, I'm talking about trying to have a conversation.
 

Sep 20 - The Club Car

I got to perform tonight. Thanks to Norman for letting me go up. It was a really good set. My Mother and Sister were there, so I was a bit nervous, but everything went well. The audience was mostly comedians, but they were all up for a good laugh. My mother liked most of the comedians, and trashed the ones she didn't like. Ten seconds into one comedians routine, she had a look on her face like she was watching a puppy die. It wasn't the worst set I've ever heard, but it was close.
 

Sep 21 - The Punchline

THE BIG SHOW. Yes, I got to do a set! I didn't suck! I got some good laughs, even though I was little tight, and speaking a bit too fast. The basketball routine flowed well. Got good pops for the funny voices and faces and sounds. The virtual pet routine did very well. I've shortened it up just a bit, and it worked well as a closer. I got the light just as I started it. Acording to the clock I got a full five minutes, so I guess the booker didn't think I sucked. I tried a bit of interacting with the audience, but I forced it, so it wasn't that funny. I recovered well though. It wasn't the funniest set ever, but I accomplished everything I wanted to for my first time up there.
 

Oh, by the way. When you get the light, wrap it up! Several comedians ignored the light and the booker was not happy with them. It's their show, so if you expect to play there again, you have to follow their rules.
 

Another thing I learned at this show, is never take anyone's advice as fact. It is their opinion. They may be right, or they may be wrong. Several comedians were bumped from last week's show, so I was worried that I'd get bumped. Before the show a comedian gave me advice about the best way not to get bumped. It didn't sound right to me so I did just the opposite. I went up, and he didn't. I won't give you the details, but just remember; You have to sell yourself to bookers and club owners. You have to believe that you are funny, and important enough for them to pay attention to you. Don't become a nuisance, but don't just sit in the back and wait for things to happen either.
 

By the way, what I said above about not trusting other people's advice includes me. I'm just making this stuff up as I go along. What might be right for me in my situation may have nothing to do with you and your situation. So don't believe everything that I tell you.
 

Sep 27 - Writing Session

Did you miss me? I had other obligations this week so comedy got put on the back burner. But now the visiting relatives are gone, and it's time to get back to work. I've been thinking alot this week about what I want to do, and if you look at my goals section, you may notice that the whole TALES FROM THE DINER project has been removed. I just don't have the time or energy for that right now. I like performing in night clubs, and that is what I'm going to concentrate on. So for a while I will be performing less and writing more.
 

Writers block is an interesting thing. Whenever I plan to sit down and write, well it just doesn't work. What I have to do is when an idea pops in my head, stop everything and sit down with a pad and paper and work the idea through. Fortunately my girlfriend understands these creative spasms and allows me the time to do it. Also, you may have noticed I said a pad of paper. Yes, I'm a major computer geek, but I find it easier to work out routines on paper. I'm not sure why.
 

Sep 27 - Java Source

The host didn't show up again, but we put on a show anyway. A couple of pedestrians in the audience, and I got to go first. The new material was OK, but incomplete. I've got some good ideas on improving it. What I realised though is I was not up for this show at all. I just hate telling jokes to two people. I've had a taste of a real audience, and now I don't want to go back.
 

Sep 28 - The Punchline

It's signup night again. I go and put my name on the list. Tonight is John's big night and we spend an hour or so trying to convince him he's funny. I have these bouts of self-doubt myself. But I'm going to try really hard not to do this anymore. I know I'm funny. People laugh. All I need to do is be commited to a performance and it will go well. So John goes up and does the set of his life. His timing and delivery were great. His mike work was even funny. We're so proud of him.
 

Sep 29 - Writing Session

Sometimes it all just works. I spent a couple hours tonight writing one routine after another. Not all of them are winners, but a few are really good. The rest will make a funny one-liner here and there. The ideas just kept pouring out. It was great! I just hope that other people think it's funny. I added quite a bit of material about my dog, to an already existing routine. The old bit was just a three-liner. (Premise/Explanation/Punchline) The new bit is an expanding bit of silliness about the dogs eccentricities. Of which he has many.